From the diary of Vida Pankhurst
Today I woke up to discover that the chest, which Joe made go up in smoke, had reappeared. Only I ain't no bloody thief so I couldn't get the blasted thing to open. I collected Joe and the others from town and this time he managed to disarm the trap and open the chest successfully. Inside was some cash, a fancy dagger (which Joe took for his efforts) and a box containing a necklace that now looks damn good on me, because the others were too terrified to try it on; most likely they were worried it would emasculate them, but then who really knows why these men do anything.
We decided to arm ourselves a little better so headed into town meeting Joe's sister (another bloody Norebo follower) on the way. At the market we were served by a cleric of luck called Vulia. Finally a woman here with potential! Sure, she is a follower of Norebo, thanks to Crippelina's influence, and she does insist on making people gamble for their equipment, but she seems a woman who knows sense when she hears it. And she has managed to carve a name for herself in the market, even amongst these misogynists. I will work on her. She asked me if I was going to be attending that stupid festival 'The Big Gamble' and I told her that I bloody intend to. O I'll go all right, and tell those heathens about my mighty goddess, with the power to empower their rage and give them the force to make a change in this damn village. That's what these people need, wrath; not something as capricious and untrustworthy as luck.
After picking up a few other things in town and having to deal with both that bully of an armoury to get some chain mail, we finally set off. Under 'guidance' from that rat we found a trapdoor under a rock in the wilderness. Pulling it back revealed a hole, which some voices demanded a password from. Not having a bloody clue what it was, we made a guess, which was ignored. This time Ugg's three brain cells had collaborated with each other and made him decide to purchase a rope in the village, so Joe used that to head down into the cavern to meet whatever lurked below.
The dolt managed to trigger some sort of pit trap at the bottom of it but thanks to his feather falling ring came out vaguely unscathed and clambered out in time to meet some disgusting hobgoblin guards. The smell of those horrid cousins of orcs made me drop my crossbow in disgust, but luckily the others dispatched them with their arrows, and we all headed down into the passage below.
Marching onward through what appeared to be a hobgoblin base we eradicated many more of the foul creatures before they could raise the alarm on us. Further investigation revealed two other identical entrances to the complex, complete with their own pit traps. We used these pits to dispose of the bodies and I can think of nothing more fitting than for those bloody creatures to spend eternity rotting in their own traps. Finally though, we came upon the heart of their lair in which lived a small horde of hobgoblins and lesser goblinoids.
After calling upon the might of The Raging Volcano to Bless us, I led my companions into battle; smiting the repulsive things with both my warhammer and holy fire. The goblin leader, a repugnant beast of a hobgoblin wielding a pair of deadly masterwork swords, burst out from a side chamber to enter the fray only to be met head on in battle by Ugg. With the help of Joe sniping with his sword from behind a door, the two of them bested the leader whilst Sameson and I finished off the last of the horde. Or so we thought...because just as we believed the battle won a powerful hobgoblin shaman entered the room and struck Ugg down with a single word of magic. In my wrath I smote it down with a barrage of shots from my crossbow before it could do so much as utter another syllable.
But we got no bloody respite even then because a horrid growling reverberated around the room, just before two giant apes burst through separate doors into the chamber. Joe hurled a bottle of sticky liquid at one of them and succeeded in glueing one of the blasted things to the floor whilst Ugg charged the other. Sameson, Joe and I picked at the held ape with our bows/crossbows in the hopes of killing it before it could break free. However, the other ape was making short work of Ugg, so I hitched up my chain mail skirts and ran to assist the oaf with my healing magic, before he became bloody ape food. It was a fierce battle but together we slew the beast, and turned our bows on the last ape.
Bloodied and worn out we explored the rest of the complex finding much treasure amongst the hobgoblin's horde, including a pair of wands. As well as the apes den we also discovered an area for the unhallowed practise of sacrifice to the foul goblin god Maglubiget. Destroying everything we found there Sameson and I both took delight in relieving ourselves upon the unholy site. That'll show that bloody goblin excuse for a deity! In this room we also found a note from someone called Belsoring, asking the hobgoblins to join forces with the bloody Temple of Elemental Evil. The paper was also marked with a strange sigil of a flaming eye that I can only assume if the temple's insignia.
Another group of goblin slaves cowered in a nearby room which we allowed to leave alive when they surrendered. Even my testosterone fuelled companions conceded that here is no bloody sense in mindless slaughter. The goblins told us of elf 'sacrifices' which we found imprisoned in pits nearby.
We liberated the unfortunate wretches and even I couldn't help but feel pity for the state these once proud, if somewhat abrasive, creatures had been reduced to. Amongst them was the familiar face of none other than the real bloody Fillian! Reunited with his rat we clothed him before the sight of his nakedness made me hurl. It turned out he is in fact a mage of some talent, so we got him to Identify of the magically items we found in exchange for a cut. Pfft, like bloody saving his arse from the hell furnace isn't reward enough for an elf.
Anyway, gathering the emancipated elves together we shared out our equipment and sat around scratching our heads a little. I haven't a bloody idea how we are going smuggle this lot into Nulb without causing the hostility of the villagers! Whatever hair-brained plan these men come up with one thing is for sure...it ain't gonna be bloody easy. But then nothing is with this lot!
I realized that, after finding Belsoring's letter, now would be a good time to tell my new friends about what I knew of the Temple of Elemental Evil. So I divulged to them the story of the foul place not far away in the hills near Nulb and how it spawned much suffering; ruin and death before, long ago, the forces of good brought it low and bound it's power. I told how it is evident that the place was only wounded and not slain, how even now dark things creep up from the labyrinth below, under the direction of someone or something that still lurks below the edifice of evil. I explained that Joramy herself had given me the divine mission to finish what the forces of good started all those years ago, and eradicate the temple from this world for good.
After hearing my tale, embellished by the elf mage Fillian, who seems to know a little about the temple himself, we turned our minds back to the problem at hand, the elves. They imparted the tale to us that they had been ambushed originally by the hobgoblins under the leadership of a 'beautiful' human cleric. Pfft, elves are so prone to exaggeration. They think trees are bloody 'beautiful' after all. Anyway, we decided to send Joe and Ugg back to the village, through the way we came in, to speak to the blacksmith and gather some supplies for our new Elven companions. Clearly I had received a knock to my head in the previous battle that prevented me from seeing what a damn foolish idea it was for us to separate like that, but that's what we did none the less.
Whilst they were gone, and rather than listen to the supercilious rubbish that comes out of elves' mouths, I decided to look around some more. This paid off as I discovered a strange torch, which I identified as an ever-burning torch, on one of the walls in the ape's pen. Of course I can bloody well see in the dark anyway so I gave it to Sameson to stop him blundering around in the darkness in the future. During this time the bloody elves, ungrateful wretches that they are, demanded some gold armbands back that we had liberated from the goblins earlier. My censure at this was being ignored however when some banging in the distance made us run off to investigate, only to bump into Ugg and Joe who had been attacked by a horde of goblins and hobgoblins outside.
We opted to escape through a different exit and head back to the the village together, rather than face the goblin force in our current weakened state. So we did this and set out surreptitiously into the night, like a bunch of bloody thieves, back along a trail in the woods. We hadn’t got far when we noticed some humans approaching along the trail ahead.
Ugg and I went ahead to assess the situation whilst Sameson, Joe and Fillian kept the bloody elves safe and hidden. Then, who should I see but the flippin' blacksmith from town with two mercenaries. How in the name of mighty Joramy was I to know this wasn't him but some sneaky mage disguised with magic. He surprised us with some spell that knocked Ugg flat out and blinded me momentarily.
Not to be beaten that easily I pulled out my burning hands wand and was just about to incinerate the git when he threatened to cut Ugg's throat should I not surrender. Now he may be both a typical misogynist and disgusting half breed orcoid, but as annoying as Ugg can be, he has proven useful and I wouldn't wish the big lugg dead; so I had no choice but to surrender to these men and let them manhandle and bind me. By Joramy, I will make them pay for that indignity!
Of course I was still blinded by the mage's spell so all I could do was hear as my other companions arrived and attempted to fight the mage and his men. Imagine my dismay when I hear Fillian throwing spells with reckless abandon at our captor. Just as my vision cleared I had it obscured again by some magically conjured mist so I had no idea if I was about to be consumed in the crossfire of this magically duel, or turned into a bloody rat or something. Suddenly the mist cleared only to reveal the hobgoblin horde from before surrounding us. My party, realizing they were outnumbered badly, surrendered.
The horrid things, all men of course (just where are all the hobgoblin women anyway???) bound and - in the case of those of us able to use magic - gagged, then forced us into a cart to be used for sacrifices to some unholy god. We travelled through the night and, even unable to speak and jostled around as we were, I still prayed to the mistress of volcanoes to give me to the strength to break my bonds and shower her wrath down upon those who would dare imprison a cleric of Joramy. Beside me in the cart I could feel Sameson utter a similar prayer to his god. Faith, it seems, cannot be bound.
Later, to my utter astonishment, I heard Joe conversing in Goblin with some of our captors, who were non-other than the goblin slaves we spared earlier. At the time I thought it folly, but he seemed to have an effect on the creatures because they fled rather than attack us when the cart we were imprisoned in and was attacked and we were cast out onto the landscape.
Unfortunately the landscape was a bloody swampy pond infested with giant frogs, who had mistaken our prison cart as something they could eat. Fillian somehow, probably with help from his runt of a rat, had escaped from his bonds and sensibly freed me first. Together we released the others and I watched in satisfaction as the mercenaries were consumed by the mutated frogs. The mage however disappeared into bloody thin air before I could blast him with Joramy's might!
Our party regrouped and sliced the frogs into oblivion with ease. Observing our surroundings we sighted a ruined moat-house nearby and some footsteps in the swamp heading that way. Joe revealed to us that he recognized the mage as some bloody man whom had been living in Nulb for years under the name Neddy. Mightily pissed off we headed for the moat-house across a rickety drawbridge, using Ugg's rope again. Inside we found further evidence of Neddy's retreat in the form of dirty footprints so we choose to rest up before continuing our pursuit. I was bloody fine to go three more rounds but men lack the endurance of women, especially dwarven women, and Sameson was bloody throwing up everywhere from the sickness he picked up off the rats, so I kept my remonstrations to myself and set about writing this during my first watch.
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