From the diary of Vida Pankhurst
I dream of a nightmare, when dreaming will end.
What a bloody torment….Anak neid froem snallar
We packed our things and joined Pearl to solemnly proceed with the coffin of Otis into the wilds. Only we didn’t get far before a group of what looked like bandits barred our path and demanded money from us. Only, after yesterday’s defeat, I wasn’t in the mood to be trifled with so I rallied the others to fight these bullies off the road. How was I to know that they weren’t bandits but bloody werewolves sent by the temple to attack us.
They transformed into half-wolf half-man hybrids before our eyes. One of them pulled Ugg’s sword right out of himself and the wound healed instantly. My goddess doesn’t hold with that kind of nonsense so I summoned a ring of silver blades around myself and launched myself into the middle of the beasts. It seems that werewolves’ regenerative abilities do not work against silver, so soon my blades were a cloud of shredded guts and fur.
I was making short work of the furballs when suddenly I heard an all mighty crash from the coffin behind us. Imagine my bloody amazement when Otis, the blacksmith, leapt out of his coffin and cleaved the last of the beasts clean in two. The bloody dolt had been pretending to be dead to confuse the temple’s spies in Nulb. What’s more Pearl revealed that she is in fact a high priestess of Saint Cuthbert in disguise called Ydei. Is no one what the bloody say they are anymore?!
With the lycanthropes slain Ydei told us that we could call on her once more in the future if we need her, but not to blow her cover in the process. I must admit I was pleased to find out that she had one over on the men who hunt her, and was not in fact a whore at all. But that Otis gets on my nerves. Who is he to make judgements about my choices? He didn’t even have the blood dignity to apologise for his deception. I don’t give a damn if he was some sort of hero from a past age. It’s me and my crew of men that are the ones getting our hands dirty now! Be damned if I’ll answer to him.
We left the two of them to return to their clandestine villages lives and pushed onward to the temple. We hadn’t got far when a strange looking figure approached us on the road: only the bloody elf Fillian! He revealed that he’d got into some bother and was robbed by agents of the temple of everything but the robes on his back. Bloody elves can never look after themselves. He remembered hearing something about someone or something called Kelamo in charge of some kind of water temple. Interesting, so there must be different sections of the Temple of Elemental Evil.
As we continued our journey we could tell the temple was close because of the fetid stench of the land and an overwhelming sense of ineffable evil. At least for my companions it is ineffable. I have seen its face and have its true image burned into the dark corners of my mind where she waits. Suddenly The Temple of Elemental Evil loomed before us: a monolith of despair it stands within a monstrous looking garden amongst the ruined spires of its former glory. We thought about retreating back, perhaps gather some supplies and courage, but we had come this far and we must wipe this foul stain from the land as soon as possible; Joramy wishes it so!
I am no bloody coward. And, for all their faults, neither are these men I call my companions. And so we approached the dark cathedral that is what remains of the temple. Its main door was chained shut and strange symbols were upon it which radiated magically power. Joe couldn’t even bloody approach them due to some strange warding power. Fillian and Sameson decoded the symbols as some kind of warning of great evil inside. Well no bloody surprise there then!
Joe scouted out the rest of the area and found two side entrances that were also sealed in the same way as the main doors. To the side of one we discovered a window that could be climbed up to and jimmied open. As bloody uncomfortable as this was, this was our entrance to the temple. Inside the décor was just as odorous as outside. The place was covered in debris and clearly was ransacked long ago, perhaps when the temple was first torn down.
Luckily there was no sign of any demonesses waiting to devour our souls so we set about exploring. This floor seemed to be set out in four sections respective of the elements. Amongst the ruins in some side chambers we managed to find a few robes of differing colours, again to represent the different elements. We decided to put these on. I put on a fire robe because if I have to bloody wear one of these horrid garments then it might as well represent the superior element. It was way too big for me though and clearly made for either a man, or a woman with the figure of a man. No one ever makes robes for bigger women these days. I mean even in these evil establishments in which you would think the gender divide would be less prominent in favour of concentrating on pure evil, patriarchy rears its ugly head.
With further exploration we discovered a throne with strange coloured tiles laid out before it end of the temple. Even Ugg saw the logic in the leaving this alone till we worked out what the bloody hell it meant. And so we instead we debated about which of the four staircases we found leading down into the lower levels to take. Finally we headed down and quickly found ourselves lost in a maze of corridors. We ended up going down pretty deep and stumbling into a room where one of the oddest creatures I have ever seen was tied to a pedestal amongst a pile of bones.
The creature looked like someone had crossbred a gigantic owl with a bear, although how the bloody hell that would be accomplished, in defiance of the laws of nature, is anyone’s guess! The thing launched itself at us raking, slashing and biting with claws and beak. Fillian weakened it with a Ray of Enfeeblement spell and Ugg and Sameson stepped forward to meet its attack whilst I bathed it in holy flame! It was no match for us!
Suddenly a troll that had heard the ruckus from another room entered and attacked us yelling something about wanting the fire temple to die. I bloody hate trolls! I remember my home city having problems with the beasts and they just don’t die without a little assistance from fire or acid. The bastard managed to hit me with a spear before we could close ground with it and burn it with my wand. Then it cut down Sameson with its claws. Joe and Fillian pelted it with their arrows whilst Ugg and I hacked it down. Then I covered it in oil and enjoyed watching the creature melt into nothing.
Calling upon the power of the mighty shrew I healed Sameson and together we decided to head back and explore a different passage. Given the trolls reaction to us we decided he must have been part of the water faction of the temple. What’s more it seems the four element sides of the temple are clearly at odds with each other (well fire and water at least) and we can probably use that to our advantage.
Down another tunnel we found a room with a similar pedestal only this time a dragon-like creature was tied to it. The beast had five bloody heads! Perhaps our success with the owlbear and troll made us rash because we decided to bloody antagonize it into attacking us by shooting it with arrows. It obliged by breathing fire down the corridor at us. Of course I am strong against my goddess’ element, but my companions were almost mortally injured so we had no choice but to retreat.
We reasoned that this part of the temple must be the fire part and slightly above our powers to defeat just yet. Therefore, we returned to the upper level to rethink our strategy. We rested for a short while and argued about whether we should return to Nulb or Hommlet for supplies or not. I insisted we press on but Ugg was dead against it. I bloody gave into the dolt, because it seemed the others agreed with him. Men!!!
In the hall, on the way out, we encountered a group of four Gnolls wearing earth temple robes. We attacked them but half of them fled whilst the other two surrendered. They told us they had been sent from Nulb to enlist at the temple. I wanted to kill the flesh eaters but my companions thought that we would be too harsh. So we let the stinkers go.
Back at Nulb we split up again to stock up on supplies. I was given the job of knocking some bloody silver into our weapons in case we met werewolves again, so off to the smithy I marched. A woman’s work is never done. I spend most the day doing this successfully and I left my prized warhammer to last. Then just as I was swinging the last stroke that bitch ….kardi naera rakma…and it smashed to pieces on the anvil. Now stupid men dwarves get really attached to their weapons and give women’s names to them; because they think women, like weapons, are no more than tools. Now I’m not like those mawkish fools but I couldn’t help but shed a tear to see my poor Smiter ruined so.
Furious with my ill fortune I headed to see that bellicose half-orc smithy to see if I could purchase another one and enlisted Ugg on route. I figured he might warm to another orcoid. Bloody hell was I wrong! We got there and the bloody smithy started yelling at him to get out. And to my amazement a sword flew off the wall into his hands and made him attack Ugg. He’d already taken a chuck out of Ugg before I could respond with a Dispel Magic spell on the sword, which seemed to shut this bizarre magic item off momentarily. I barely managed to get Ugg out of there in time.
I reckon it’s because of Ugg’s bloody stupid lawful nature that was opposed to the chaotic nature of that magically sword. I must remember to go back and try rid the weapon smith of that curse when I get some time. He may be a half breed orc but no one deserves to be a slave to such a curse. For now though I’m forced to go without a study warhammer and use my war-axe instead.
Next we went to the temple of Norebo to pick up Joe, whom it seems luck favours because he won as a load of equipment and healing potions for our travels. Then Sameson and Fillian joined us; Fillian looking especially pleased with himself for some reason. I don’t bloody trust it when elves grin like that! With a full party again we rested before journeying back to the temple for round bloody two.
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