Day 6 – Hommlet (Village Life)

From the diary of Vida Pankhurst

Note: Days 4 and 5 was spent with no entry thus left out intentionally.

We arrived outside Hommlet after an uneventful journey for my comrades. However, every night spent on the road for me...madness unknown.

Sameson told us all that Hommlet is a bastion of all that's good, as opposed to Nulb, which it turns out was only bloody set up by bandits years ago. Meh, why am I not surprised to hear that Ugg and Joe are bloody bandit kin. Sameson himself was raised in Hommlet an acorn worshippers, like himself, are affluent here. Also, he told us that two old heroes, Burne a mage and his warrior companion Rufus, rule the village from their stone tower. Pfft men and their bloody phallic symbols!

Outside Hommlet, passed out and dribbling on a rock, was a drunken oaf of a man. I wanted to ignore the fool, but my companions insisted on rousing him. Turned out his name was Elmo - what sort of a bloody overlander name is Elmo??? Anyway, he attached himself to our group and we marched into Hommlet followed by both this seemingly drunken idiot and Joe's brats. The village militia, and a motley band of idiots called Burne's Badgers at the tower, approached us and asked Ugg to go with them. We assumed they wanted him to join them and so separated to go about our own business.

Elmo staggered after Ugg mumbling something about Ugg being his new friend. Sameson went off to find someone called Jaroo of the stick, or something bloody like that, who is apparently the head of his order. Fillian flounced off to the tower in search of Burne, whom he believed might have some news about his elven friends. Joe gathered up his boys and took them to the tavern whilst I went in search of the local blacksmith.

Eventually I found him - and it was as per usual a 'him'. Not only did he not have a dwarven war-axe, but the dolt refused to let me use his smithy. So I stormed off to find the general store, which was currently being run by a rude individual called Rannos. He sold me the axe I wanted but I'm sure the misogynistic git ripped me off something blind.

At this point I headed back to the tavern to see what Joe was up to with all our treasure. I found him trying to sell his children off to any local who would listen. I don't blame him of course; who wants to be stuck with children snapping at your feet?! The village elder, a sensible woman called Hestia, decided to take them off his hands - much to our relief.

Sameson turned up complaining that he needed money to get a nasty strain of ghoul fever healed by the temple of St. Cuthbert, since acorn worshippers have no power over diseases. Therefore, we decided to go back to the general store and exchange all the pretty treasure we picked up in the moat house for gold and equipment.

After stocking up the rest of us, excluding Fillian who still hadn't returned from the tower, went back to the tavern whilst Sameson got himself healed. Ugg finally showed up, minus his armour, and with Elmo trailing along behind him. Joe was coming onto some bloody lady thief Fernoc who suggested we go to the temple to raid it now. However, at this point it as getting late so we hired some rooms. I got my own of course despite the men expecting me to sleep in the same room with all of them like a swine of pigs.

Then Elmo challenged us all to a drinking competition. Usually I would abstain from this typically male bravado, but I decided the drink may help in repressing the nightmares that have been haunting me since...he who dreams. When they realized I was taking part all the men backed out except Ugg and Elmo, few can beat a dwarf in a competition of constitution you see. Ugg was pucking his guts up before the second drink, bloody lightweight. However, Elmo proved to be one of the rare few humans with guts of steel because he somehow managed to beat me.

Next thing I knew I woke up here in my room nursing the queen mother of all bloody hangovers waiting for my comrades to get their lazy arses out of bed. At least I can't remember if the nightmares returned last night. Maybe I should get bloody drunk every night.